i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
