Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i barfeds in our rink
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize