If that was your dad, he is hot
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
