I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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