you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
