fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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