Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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