I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
