EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
