Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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