sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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