I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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