I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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