I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
