Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Found the puke drawer
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
