Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
