Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
