Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
