This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
