): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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