Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
