brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
