I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
As shirtless as possible
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
