so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
