you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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