I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
