When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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