My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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