I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i now understand why vodka
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
