We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
