I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
