butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
