The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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