that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ladies don't puke and tell
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
