Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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