I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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