So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
