There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
