I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
