My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
