I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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