drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
