i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
40s are totally the cure
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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