I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my shit smells like andre
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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