Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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