You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize