: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
