I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
