It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
