I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
