I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
