Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
