The maid of honor just puked.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
