I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
