If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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