So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
