Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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