there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
are you so shy because you have an std?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
