I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
