I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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