First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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