She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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