I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
