i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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