Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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