i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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