Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
