1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
