In America we eat man semen.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize