this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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