So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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