Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
