yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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