I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
