real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
